And I'll be Bach

(That was the punchline to "You be Beethoven")

Hey! How are you (guys)? If there's even one YOU left that read this sad sad neglected blog. I don't know what's happened but half of blogs I read are gone, retired, barely updated. Some tried to hide from me (Len & Stuckey) but "I find you..." (Name that movie quote.) It's sad really, but I'm a guilty contributor to the phenomenon, so I guess I have no room to complain.

So! What's new with moi? Lots actually. I've been back on the DIY kick, my fireplace has gotten a much needed makeover. I'm determined to pick out tile for 2 bathrooms and the laundry room and install them within a month. After which, I'm going to get new carpet through out the rest of the house. A few walls to paint, cabinets to be refinished, and.... I should be done! Oh wait, the patio (a.k.a. jungle) needs some TLC. Ok, after that, then... done! Wait, the garage needs major organization. Ideally, I want some rafters built for storage. There are tons of overhead space in my garage, but it's just a giant box with no shelving or anything to maximize storage space. Hmmm ok, after that then.... DONE! Hopefully...

No exciting travels to faraway lands. That 3-week vacation to Europe drained every last vacation days I had at work, so I am stuck until July, when I get more. I haven't drawn, painted, sewn, knitted, crocheted, played my drum, or bellydanced in forever. I guess I've been busy with other things? Where has all my time gone? *scratches head*

Yeah, you're thinking, "After this long of an absence, that's what I get? DIY news and news about things you HAVEN'T done? Booooring!!"

Ok ok! What's most exciting is that I have a boyfriend! Yup, believe it! We met on Thanksgiving and he asked me to be his girlfriend around my birthday in March, so it's been "official" for a little over a month now. The whole process with dating the boy and now being someone's girlfriend has brought to light, more than ever, how retarded I am, or how retarded I think I am, or how retarded I feel. Take your pick! I'm always second guessing myself and wondering and thinking and over-thinking. I've been told such behavior is "normal". I've also been told to just chill, accept, and be happy. Right, of course. How, I say? Any tips?

Come fly with me

I have never been gone and out of the country for 3 weeks that I'm having trouble gauging how much to pack. Traveling Gay has trained and brain-washed me into being an ultra-light packer. (You need to roll all your clothes like mini sleeping bags to maximize the space of your suitcase. Use socks and underwear to fill all the odd spaces. Never bring full sized bottle of anything!) I'm trying, but the whole being on a cruise ship and having to dress nicely for dinner service, in addition to "formal nights" is a pain in the ass. It means packing dresses and of course the right shoes to go with them. It also doesn't help that the weather forecast has been inconsistent. Should I bring tank tops? T-shirts? Sweaters? Fine, all of them so I can layer.

Right now, my bed is covered with clothes. Laid out. Trying to figure out the minimum amount of items to yield the maximum variation of cute outfits. My bathroom counter is completely covered with my girly toiletries.

I ran very last minute errands this afternoon and bought a traveling blow dryer, withdrew some cash, and got my watch battery replaced.

I think I have all the ingredients, I just have to put it all together into one carry-on luggage and a duffel bag.

In other current and not so current news, MenFarmForMe.com is blowing up! I've got 4 guys going right now, but of course I'm gone for 3 weeks and they'll have forgotten me after week 1. We'll see, I don't care. I'm going to Europe!!!

Oh, and I decided to pick on an old scab and messaged him. He responded, I replied, and that's it. Deadsville. Duh, he doesn't want you!! Somehow I still think of him and wish it'll miraculous turn into a cliche Hollywood romantic comedy. Ummm, yeah.

Whatever, I'm going to Europe! I'm going to see and mingle with hot Spanish, Italian, French, Turkish, and Grecian men!

With that, I leave you until the middle of October.

I'm Tellin' Y'all It's a Sabotage

I love web surfing and coming across articles that make you say hmmm...

Oh?

Uh oh...

Shit.

On other fronts, been busy with my 10 trillion hobbies, work, classes, out drinking on the town, wedding, bridal shower (in that order), getting excited about my Euro Tip, and...

I'm remodeling all 3 of my bathrooms. The receptionist at work is probably thinking I have a shopping addiction, since I have orders shipped to work. Lighting, faucets, and yup, sinks.

"Hi BTC, you have another package from UPS downstairs."
"Thanks!" *finds dolly to transport massive box into the trunk of my car*

Must call granite counter guy today...

Why, you might ask, am I starting the remodel 37 days before I'm off to Europe for 3 weeks?

I. don't. know.

What does your drink say about you?

Follow up to Coffee Meet:

I get to said Starbucks 10 minutes before the agreed upon meet up time.

This served 2 purposes:

1. I can survey the setting and have a chance to breath and calm down.
2. I can order my coffee beforehand, so to avoid the awkward:

• Do I just assume he's going to pay and say nothing?
  
• Do I actually offer to pay for a $4 cup of caramel macchiato?
• Starting the very first face-to-face conversation while waiting for your name and drink order to be shouted out by the Barista.
  

So I order my drink, and as soon as I'm done paying, my cell phone rings.

*in not manly voice* "Hey BTC, are you almost there?"
"I actually just got done ordering my coffee."
"Oh, you got there ahead of me then. I'm about 50 feet from the door."
"Oh! Ok."
"So, I'll be the bald guy walking in with the red shirt."
*cringes at non-manly voice* "Ok cool."

I look toward the glass entrance door and... The voice matched him.

Don't be so judgemental! He might have a girly voice, kinda short, wearing pants a bit shorter than fashionable, but he could be a really REALLY nice guy! Really... rea..lly... ni...ce....

He see me, walks towards me and I think I gave the warmest welcome and hug. *sigh* I plaster on the friendliest smile and proceeded with awkward small talk.

"So, how was work today?"
"Umm, good! It's the first good day I've had in weeks."
"Oh. Well, I'm glad today, of all days, was good."
"What did you get to drink?"
"An Iced Caramel Macchiato. What are you going to get?"
"Umm, I think I'm going to go for the Strawberry 'n Creme Frappuccino."

Ok now, anyone that knows me in real life, knows that my facial expressions are dead giveaways! I could never be a poker player! In my best effort to not be surprise or burst out into laughter...

"Hmmm... Interesting choice." *raise of the eyebrow*
"Yeah, it's like Nestle's Quik!"
"Right..."

Oh. My. God! Are you freakin' serious?! Mind you, he chose coffee for the place to meet. He could have chosen a bar, or even a smoothie place. You're at a coffee shop, get iced tea if you didn't feel like coffee, but a kid's strawberry milkshake for a Coffee Date?! I was pretty much done at the point, but he still seemed kind of nervous. So I proceeded...

I get my coffee and he gets his fruity milkshake and we grab a table. Considering what a retard I am in dating, I had to steer and keep the conversation going. We did have a lot to talk about, mostly about painting. Between the two of us, somehow I was the expert on painting techniques (with 1 whole painting course under my belt.)

I guess I just felt bad and am too retarded to know when and how to cut it off. It wasn't though he was a bad person to have a conversation with, but it was disappointing and deflating of an "dating" experience. And with dating potential being nil, I did have better things to do. (I'm horrible, huh?)

Anyhoo, there was finally a silent lull in the conversation and I seized the opportunity. I said I had work to do to meet a deadline. My facial expressions probably gave me away on my lie. Oh well. We got up, walked toward the parking lot and I said, "Well, it was nice to meet you." I gave a friendly hug goodbye, and went on my way.

No word since. He either got the hint or finally realized, then drove to his best gal pal's house to reveal, that he's gay. When I first heard him on the phone and my Gaydar needle went into the orange zone, I should have nix it right there, but hey, I tried, right? Right.

So maybe in another few months (ha ha), I'll attempt another coffee date. I'll take away from this experience that there's only one David Beckham that can get away with a girly voice. Lightning ain't gonna strike twice.

Coffee Meet

A coffee date has been set! I'm meeting a MenFarmForMe.com guy on Thursday. After talking to him briefly on the phone, I'm less nervous...

It's horrible, but he got minus points with his voice. Tell me I'm lame? I guess it's natural to be more attracted to a low, deep, mountain man kind of voice, which is not what I got. We didn't speak for long, because Studio Guy was over to watch the 24 Season Finale. We just settled on a place and time for meet up and left it at that.

So, we'll see! Heck, David Beckham doesn't have a manly voice and he's hot and athletic as hell!

I just better not get a wet noodle handshake or a butterfly patter hug when we meet.

*** Weekend Recap ***

Went and saw my friends play on Friday night. They finally got new T-shirts for sale. I played model for anyone that wanted to see what it looked like on. Without fail, perverts wanted to command me into different poses,

Perv: "Can you turn all the way around?"
Me: "There's nothing on the back of the shirt."
Perv: "Oh. Well can you turn all the way around any ways?"
Me: "Uh, no."

Pervert (who didn't even buy a shirt.)

I ditched painting class on Saturday. I didn't get home until 2:30am from the night before, and the idea of standing outside painting all day wasn't appetizing. So I played hookie. BTW, my abstract final project is due this Saturday. Have I started it? Nope. I think I have hobby class Senioritis... Anyways, I didn't wake up until almost noon on Saturday, putzed around, then took an afternoon nap. I know. Supreme laziness!

Fret not though, I had a purpose for the day. A group of us gals went out to dinner for Mommy Gal's NOT Baby Shower. She insisted on not having one, because I guess, technically, you're only suppose to have one for your first child. Since this is her second, she felt guilty milking people's time and money again. Regardless, we took her out to dinner and got her a gift card to a spa.

Sunday, Artsy Gal, her hubby, kiddies, and I went here. I don't quite get it. I guess people are really into the whole Renaissance time and decided it's a great idea to reenact the era by playing dress up. It's a huge deal! Most everyone was in character. I have never seen so much sunburned and exposed breasts before. Here are pics from a photographer that was there.

It was hot, dusty, dirty, and expensive. I was blowing out brown snot even the next day. Not sure I would attend the event again, but it was an experience worth having, once.

Easy Breezy...

Ok, bellydancing performance out of the way, I'm almost done with my painting class too. But before then, I have a final project due. It's a 30" x40" wood panel, landscape inspired, abstract. I'm excited about this assignment more than any other, because I'm an abstract art kinda gal. We've only been painting actual outdoor landscapes, which is nice, but not typical of the kind of artwork I hang at home.

I've been inspired by all the wild/brush fires (oh, gotta love SoCal.) So I've decided to paint something with fiery colors of the flames and the burnt colors of the trees. I still have to finalize ideas, then execute! It's due in 2 1/2 weeks, and I have no idea where I'm going to find time to work on a 30 x40 painting. I love the teacher, but I think he thinks we all have art studios at home? Where am I going to handle large amounts of paint to do the painting? Hmmmm...

So what else has been going on. I've been gone sooooooooooo long... ;)

I saw them in concert. EFFEN AWESOME!! Unlike most bands, who sings their final song, then quickly exits the stage before the house lights come on... They waited for all the lights to come on, then came to the front of the stage to bow and give thanks to the audience. Such Brit Gents! Seriously, if you get the chance, see them live! They sound AMAZING!

Yau Man got robbed on Survivor! Booooooooooooooooooo!!!

I've been very dedicated to going to the gym. You'd think bellydancing is great exercise, and it is, but when you're used to taking cardio kickboxing classes, the dancing is a step down in calorie burning. So, I'm working on catching up. Gotta go from flab to fab! Bikini season is here and I'm not ready!!!

Oh, on the boy *wait for it* front, there is a prospect on MenFarmForMe.com We got through the required q&a in a few days, and we just started emailing back and forth the last 2 days. The only red flag thus far is that in one of his pics, he looks kinda like my Ex Ex. Otherwise, he's been very responsive, has an MBA, has a job, thinks I'm funny, and wants to plan a meet up. Did he say "plan"?? Wow...

So, we'll see. I tend to over-think things and get myself over-anxious on first meets. I'm trying to be nonchalant about it all, ya know "easy breezy", but we'll see. Once a date is set, I'm sure I'll revert back to old tendencies and freak myself out.

Get the tomatoes ready!!!

I think I'm about to lose my mind in business busyness busy-ness(?!) Anyhoo, still have to finish my costume... Aaaarrrghhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Artsy Gal and I got together the other night to "play" with makeup. Something I never got to do in my teenage years. On a daily basis, I wear very minimal amounts of makeup. In fact, I didn't start wearing makeup until my 20's. I was fortunate enough to have a blemish free complexion, AND I was just lazy and not girly girl enough.

Fast forward to late 20's. Welcome zits and pimples!!! WTF? So yeah, around that time is when I dipped my toes into the cosmetics pool.

Back to the other night... Let's just say, unless you look like a complete drag queen, you don't have enough makeup on for a stage performance (supposedly.) I had 2 sets of fake eyelashes on, eyeliner, shadow stick, powder shadow on top of that, then glitter dust all over. My eyes had an reaction much like rejection of a transplanted organ. I said to my eyes, "Stop it! Suck it up!! I know chemicals are invading you, but please work with me!! I don't have time for all this crying!" We came to an understanding, I think. T minus 4 days until performance night...

Nothing to report on the boys front. I've been way too busy to have any downtime. Even so, I manage to have moments where I feel lonely. How awesome would it be to have a supportive boyfriend? One that would be at my performance. Listen to all the bitching about how busy I am, but still wraps his strong arms around me and kisses me, in that "it'll all be ok" kind of way. *sigh* Yeaaaaaahhh... Anyway...

I'm going to try and make it to Sasha Manuel's Kickboxing class tonight. I need to get myself firm-afied, then head home to sew some more. I will have so much more time and less stress after this weekend. Can't. Wait.

Satisfied?

*sings* Cyyyyyber snooping... Oh how I loooooooove cyber snooooooooping...

Yeah yeah, I know. Shush!

So Nice Guy (NG) and MySpace Girl's (MSG) romance is O-V-E-R. He went from being in the #1 spot on her friends list to #12, then poof! Gone. No longer anywhere on her friends list, nada. Her profile has been de-flirt-ified, most of his comments deleted.

You'd think I'd be happy somehow, but I'm really not. Believe it or not, it actually helped me to see that he was with someone else. Every sting and gag-rific pic helped to snap me out of the stupid girl fantasy that he even thinks of me. As dumb as it sounds, at least .0001% of me was actually happy for him.

So yeah, what does it mean? Nothing. I'm informed and that's it. I can reopen FantasyLand and fire up all the Scenario Rides? I rather not. So there.

Poetry Boy hasn't made a move. He posted a bulletin about being a "feature" at a poetry reading. I replied with something witty. He came back with, blah blah blah, "Come out, you'll see?"

I'll be at a movie screening of Breach with Studio Gay, so no go. Besides, he needs to do something more than hinting for me to come see him read his poetry. Be the boy and I'll be the girl, ya know? Chuck it up to "he's just not that into me", right?

Wow, that's.... poetic.

Been too swamped with bellydancing stuff to post. Ok, got catch up to do. Ready??

The Autumns show on Thursday was awesome, par usuale. It was a promo thing for a L.A. rock magazine, so it was free drinks all night. Beforehand though, we went to a thai restaurant across the street, where I had the BEST green curry ever!! Mmmmmm... What facinated me was the selection of faux (soy) meats they had. I'm not a vegetarian, so I don't quite get it. If you don't want to eat meat, why eat something that's suppose to taste exactly like the thing you don't want to eat? But whatever... So, not only did they have soy beef, chicken, & pork, they also had soy shrimp. Soy Shrimp?? Wow, that's hard core vegan, right? I did taste the soy chicken red curry Artsy Gal had, and it was the most real chicken-like faux chicken I've ever had. I stuck to the real thing. Yum!

Friday night, OCG, Bindi Gal and I decided to hit up a new bar. OCG had heard good things about it, specifically, the crowd was more professional (brothas got j-o-b's) and of our age range. I know, sad for 26 year olds...

We get there early so we can get a table and not have to stand in line. However, when we get there and settle in, we realized we were hungry. After debating a bit ("we've got a good table here.", "are we that hungry?") we decide to leave in search of food.

When we return from our flavorless and expensive meal, there was now a line, already in progress. There were only about 10 people in line, so we thought, "not bad, we'll get in pretty quickly." Wrong!

Oh, the power that doormen have...

We noticed that they were only letting people in as patrons were leaving. So 2 out, 2 in. Fine, fair enough. These wonder twins, however, let "peoples they knew" right in. Again, fine, I know it happens. Lucky you if you know people, right? Two here, four there... Then 3 more here, WTF 4 more there?!? They were seemingly letting anyone that walked right up to them and pretended to know them in. Hello? There's like 20 people in line, and you let just about that many people in! Idiots...

Needless to say, I (was like omg) let's get out of here!

After getting a drink each at a lounge a few blocks away, we headed to the old tried-and-true. A bar across the street from OCG's place.

In hindsight, we should have just started there. The bartenders all know us, free drinks, no driving required. Our bad for cheating on them. Sowwy...

OCG made sure our 2 favorite bartenders knew we're there. Soon after, glasses clanked and drinks sipped.

At some point during the night, OCG pointed out a boy target sitting a ways across the bar. I glanced, said uh huh, and didn't think much of it. (Retard, I know.) Every so often, I'd rescan the entire bar for interesting people. I would notice he would be looking our way. Well, the boy in question, walks to where we are to order a beer. "Amstel Light." Oh ok, I think I get it. He could have ordered from where he was sitting, but he came all the way over here. Well, he's probably into OCG or Bindi Gal.

First words escape me now, but somehow we got to talking, Bindi Gal leaves her chair for the restroom and he sits. We chatted the rest of the night. He was good looking, beautiful eyes, well dressed. Come to find he's originally from Kansas City and move here 8 years ago for his job as an Aerospace Engineer. (I had sensed a nerdiness while chattin', but now I knew why...) He also said he was a Poet. Hmmm...

OCG would glance over and make faces at me periodically. Giving me the well-yes-no? look. I tried to ignore her. I'm kinda out of my element as is, and need not feel like I'm being watched and have to give a play by play. Eventually she got impatient and asked Poetry Boy when he was going to make a move. I swear that girl likes to make me squirm! I don't know what he told her, but he turn back around to me and I asked what she said.

PB: "Your friend isn't pleased with our progress."
Me: "Oh..."
PB: "She seems to think I should be kissing you."
Me: *nervously laughs* (Ummm, awkward...)
PB: "Well, you're definitely beautiful and if I was the more aggressive kind, I would kiss you."
Me: "Well that's good to be proper, because I'm that kind of girl." *weird pause*
Me: "You've got great eyes."
PB: "Thanks. You've got great skin and beautiful eyes too."
Me: "Ummm, you've got..." *break out in laughter*
PB: "I guess we can keep going back and forth with compliments."

Ummm yeah, ok then. We chatted more the rest of the night/day, even after the ugly lights came on. He patiently waited to say goodbye to me while Bindi Gal and I were in the restroom. We hugged and... Ok, I know you're gonna think it's lame, but we exchanged names so we can look each other up on MySpace.

He messaged me the next day, referencing my painting class and saying it was great to meet OCG and I. He asked to be my cyber friend. I accepted.

Checking out his profile, he's got some of his writing and poetry posted. Ummm, is it doomed before it starts if I think his poetry is lame?? I had Artsy Gal read them and she thought they weren't very good either. He should never consider quitting his day job...

Anyhoo, he's messaged me, I replied, he replies with something, left a comment on one of my pics. Both not warranting any response. So yeah, that's that for now. Exciting eh?

Saturday was painting, where I saw my first tick ever! It jumped onto my sweatshirt and the instructor killed it. Now I'm paranoid of any insect and being outdoors with them while painting...

Sunday was all day bellydancing workshop with Artsy Gal, then over to Mommy Gal's for din din and playtime with world's cutest 2 1/2 year old!

And that my friends is the weekend wrap-up. Exhale... The End.

Don't name your band Snow

I love music! I don't think there's a genre of music I don't like. Challenge me... What sometimes kills a song or band for me is the music videos. Examples:

1. I liked this song until I saw his crazy scary baldness.



2. Remember him?



3. I don't think you can get anymore literal. Lay where? No thanks... Suggestion, stick to singing and hire an actor?



BTW, why is Sanjaya still on American Idol. I can only imagine that votefortheworst.com is working for him to not even be on the "bottom three"? He seems to be enjoying the heck out of dressing up and having new dos, eh?

On the other hand, if you want to see a great Indie band, check them out. I'll be at their show tonight. Yippey!

Artsy Gal and I spent several hours last night practicing our belly dancing craft and attempting to come up with more choreography. In between her hubby mocking us and her 2 adorable kids thinking it's play time, we got little done. I have a sinking feelin' our first performance might be laughable. *throws up a little bit in mouth* We really need to get in gear and practice at mi casa instead...

In good ol' retard fashion, nothin' happening on the boy front. Quite frankly, I'm too busy with other stuff to even think about it. OCG and I have been alternately and overlappingly sick, so nights out for boy huntin' have been lacking. Don't ask about MenFarmForMe.com

My coughing stopped, can you fix it?

I'm on the upswing of my semi-flu-like state. I'm only left with a dry cough caused by a constant tickle in the back of throat. Always looking at the bright side of life (uh huh), my abs are getting quite a workout! From now on, instead of doing crunches, I'll just cough my way to six-pack abs. Sexy!

Because of the cough (sometimes demure, but often times on the verge of vomit inducing), I haven't called my prospect from MenFarmForMe.com. I did email him (so courteous of me) to let him know of my blazing throat situation and said I'd call when I'm better. I don't think he'd appreciate our first conversation laced with various degrees of coughing. That and I don't really want to call. OK, yes, I will! Sheesh!

My weekend was pretty boring. I vowed after Friday's all day boredom, that I'd venture out and have some fun. Big. Mistake.

Saturday night, I had belated BDay dinner with my mom then met OCG at her place afterwards. Being St. Patty's Day, we decided to hit up a house party that one of our friend's friend was having. It was a dud. Not the good Milk kind. It was a hodge podge of people who had no interest in meeting new people. They all seem to know each other and traveled between rooms like a posse. After mooching some food and beverages, OCG and I were done. We left to check out some bars on Main Street.

Holy shat! What is it about St. Patty's day? It's well after midnight and every bar had lines out the door. Don't they know that last call and ugly lights come on in about an hour?

By then, my body was succumbing to exhaustion from my already full day of activities (I was outside painting all day, getting sunburned. Sunburned!! Dinner with mom, and boring dud house party.) I just wanted to go home. And that I did.

I woke up Sunday morning, fully relapsing. I felt sicker than ever. I had to call Artsy Gal and cancel our plans for the day. We were suppose to head down to the Garment District for fabric shopping then to the art supply store for more painting supplies. Instead, I was trapped at home again like on Friday. Sick and bored. Technology was my friend. TiVo + Internet + me = bits and bytes of love fest.

I Heart Cyber Stalking

I'm bored out of my mind being sick and stuck at home. I suck at sayings (refer to #12 of 100 Revelations) So what's the one about, "Idle hands are the Devil's workshop?"

Yup, after 11 days of No Cyber Stalking, I have to dial the NCS counter back to the BIG FAT ZERO! I know, I know, pathetic, retarded, and self-destructive. (Go ahead and add other adjectives.) Fortunately, or unfortunately, nothing exciting, nothing stinging, nothing nothing yielded from the snooping.

Please scold me.

I have 2 boys I'm suppose to return calls to, but my throat is too raw with soreness to do so. Quite frankly, having to make random chit chat with strange gentlemen suitors gives me a not-so-fresh feeling...

My body needs to know that I have a full calendar for this weekend and to get the hell better. Maybe I can be like the Japanese and wear a SARS Mask, as to protect everyone around me. What a courteous concept, eh? It would never happen in America...

Photo by Darren Cheng

Is the stove hot?

I'll touch it over and over and over again to find out... I'm retarded and today's post is not going to be a happy one. My weekend was exhausting (with fun parts) I think I'm PMSing and to top it all off, I see a pic of NG kissing MSG. My hand's completely scorched now and I'm done. Please at least tell me that my retarded behavior is befitting of a 16 year old? If so, at least there's hope for growing up. Behind the curve... Seriously. I went through this with my Ex Ex, I couldn't get the stupid he-secretly-wants-me-back fantasy out of my head until I saw pics of his new gfriend. Well, at least I know the pattern, right? I deleted all the bookmarks I had for cyber snooping. No more!

I do have a couple of prospects on MenFarmForMe.com. So that's consolation...

I think it really sucks to learn all of this love stuff so late in life. Regardless of how much I know, you really don't until you experience it. I want a time machine.

Men Farm for Me

** Update ** Holy shat!!! Weather forecasts 8-12 inches of snow in Mammoth tomorrow with only 9mph gusts. It's gonna be fresh powder heaven!! Can you tell I'm freakin' stoked!?!?! Oh, OCG is going and is snowboarding for the first time. I'm determined to get my flirt-on Snow Bunny style this weekend. I hope not to disappoint and have stuff to report on Tuesday.

*********************************************************************************

At 4:00am tomorrow, I'll be on the road to Mammoth for some snowboarding. Yippey!! With the excitement is some reservation, because I've been a lazy JigglyPuff who hasn't gone to the gym in months. So, I'm in fear of some major soreness payback due to the length of physical inactivity. :(

On the love life front (ha ha), I'll reveal that I've been dabbling in online dating. It rhymes with MenFarmForMe.com... I did the whole match.com thing awhile back, and quite frankly, the rapid quantity was too much for me. I'm. Slow. So with match.com I felt like a target for a malfunctioning one of these:



Anyhoo, the selection on MenFarmForMe hasn't been thrilling. You don't get to shop on your own. You have a personal shopper that gives you a very limited amount of options. Think of yourself in a dressing room and only allowed to try on what's handed to you. Supposedly, the personality test I took gives this shopper a clearer eye than I to choose a mate. I'm not so sure anymore (BTW, I met NG there), but I'll ride it out until my subscription ends.

I'm in open communication with Music Man right now. Seems very witty and funny, which is important. I'm quite the smart whip with sarcasm and definitely need someone that can keep up, and he does so far. So we'll see how Music Man pans out. Oh, I forgot to mention that I sold OCG on joining MenFarmForMe and she was matched up with Music Man first. She actually went out on a drink date with him, and felt no chemistry. "He's a nice guy. Smart for sure and not bad on the eyes, but not for me.", she said. Am I getting sloppy seconds? What do you think? Do I (and how) at some point let him know that he (to loosely use the term) dated my friend?

Oh, so yeah, I hear the no cyber snooping point that so many of you have shouted at me. I was thinking of motivating myself by putting a Days of NCS (No Cyber Snooping) counter on my blog. Except... I don't technologically know how to do it. Help?

I must, I must...

I must increase my flirt! Ok, so one of my gal pals, OCG, and I went out Friday night for drinks. Her and I went to undergrad together and decade later, we reconnected via MySpace and now, total BFF! She's recently divorced (no kids, whew!) so she's all about hittin' the town and the boys. ;)

So yeah... the "bar scene". Kinda new to me. OCG, however, knows how to work it. Her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and once she gets them there, she can take them or leave them. They can smell it, they like it, they're all over it.

I'm more than confident enough to know I'm not "the friend" (you know, the ugly or the fat variety), but my milkshake is definitely not up to Kelis' or OCG's par. While she's chattin' it up with 3 boys, I'm like Tom Hanks' character in Big or Jennifer Gardner's character in 13 Going on 30. Shy little clueless wall flower I am. I've got some drinks in me, I'm feeling good. I've got all the non-inhibition, zero the skills. Even in my inebriated state, I'm well aware that my smile and girly laughter are nowhere near OCG's caliber. Be proud though people, I try... I do! I get into conversation with one of the 3 boys. It goes well, he's interesting, I'm interesting, but somehow it's not... ummm... something. What's missing? What could it be? Oh yes, there's not an ounce of flirt!! All the while, OCG is conversing with one of the other boys like she's on "Flirt! Of! Fortunnnnnnnnne!!!" (To the tune of Wheel of Fortune.) Mind you, I can tell she's not that interested in any of the boys, which is further testament to her skill level.

By the end of the night, rather, early the next morning, we scored big time with free drinks. OCG had the bonus of a make-out session with a bartender. At least I got free drinks, right? :)

Teddy Bear holding a Heart

Why on Earth would anyone want one? SNL did a hilarious skit about it. I actually got a rose and some chocolates for VD. 'Tis was nice. Still, the whole day had a gloomy hue to it. Stupid Hallmark Holiday! (BTW, someone should come up with better alternate anti-valentine's translations than Venereal Disease. Maybe Vaginal Discharge?)

While driving home from work, I must have passed 10 roadside stands with overflowing tables of red & white. White teddy bears hold red hearts in all sizes (like freakin' 5ft ones!) Garden picked roses everywhere. Cellophane blowing in the wind. The desperation of straight boy procrastinators uniting and flocking over the the merchandise. I admit it, seeing this affected me. It was the final straw to break the I-don't-care-that-it's-valentine's-day front (rather, back.) All of the sudden, this veil of silly girl sadness came over me and I cried in my car. I don't have even one fucking tissue in my car? Good thing I have my new buggly Bono sunglasses on that covers half my face. I drive along and every stand I see, I'm sad all over again. What a stupid stupid day and I'm mad that it got the better of me. Grrrr... Tell me who the CEO of Hallmark is?! *cocks gun*

But, all was well when I got to belly dancing class. The teacher had brought a spread of chocolates and fizzy drinks, and we danced and bonded as the sensuous women we are. Afterwards, I walked Artsy Gal home to her awaiting hubby and headed home. Then for the rest of the night, I unconstipated my TiVo while chatting with the likes of Neil, Hilly, & Mo on The Valentine's Day Emergency Hotline. It was good fun! Thanks guys!

I have a fun snowboarding trip coming up next week! Between that and this 3-day weekend, I only have a 2-day work week next week. For that, I'm psyched!

Boys are retarded...

I swear they are... I guess to be fair, most guys think girls are psychos. It's the proverbial, "Boys are assholes, girls are psychos." "Boys are retarded, girls are complicated." Blah blah blah... V-Day is tomorrow and I teeter between it's just a stupid commercial day to I'm so wonewwy...

I'm so ready to be in a relationship, it's not even funny. For pete sakes, I'm a late bloomer remember?! I've got catching up to do! I sometimes wish I can just be a casual dater, but I hand over my heart too easily for that to ever work. I'm a desperate little thing, aren't I?

So yes, woe is me on V-Day Eve. At least I have belly dancing class, followed by American Idol to occupy tomorrow night. Have I mentioned that ALL my friends have someone? One of them just got proposed to last week, in which I helped in making the surprise happen. I'm so wonewwy, so wonewwy...

On a brighter note, love my daily read of VB. Check out yesterday's post. It totally cheered me up! Thanks VB!! Nothing better than knowing you're not alone. Far from it! I'm arming myself for sure...

Oh yes, let me update you on my pathetic acts of snooping on NG. I'm a total scab picker... He's still cyber woo-ing MySpace Girl, let's call her MSG (omg! that cracks me up!) Worse though, she made a trip out here this past weekend, probably funded by him. I now can see pics of them, with all her friends, eating/drinking, at a restaurant/bar right down the street from me. Oh the joy of the Internet. What did I say about arming myself?

Curry in, curry out...

Who loves Thai Food?? I do! I do!! One of my favorites had to be boycotted because the stupid owner decides to change their lunch menu and pricing overnight. Do these restaurant owners not realize how sacred familiarity is to patrons?? Not only could I not get my usual #19, which comes with soup, eggroll, wonton, rice, and my entree, I now basically have to order a la carte and pay more?? Craziness... So my lunch pal and I stopped going there. That's until a friend told me, "Their old menu's back!!" Whaaaa? Yes, like the McRib, it's back! A dollar more than before, but I can deal with inflation.

So, I order my favorite Red Curry special. Within minutes of receiving my food, I inhale everything on my plate and was sooooooooooo happy!

(Just aside a side note, I don't throw up. Don't like it, don't do it. In fact, the last time I threw up was maybe oh.... 15 years ago!)

Fast forward to the next night... My gal pal Artsy Girl and I go to our belly dancing class. We're doing our sensuous moves, looking sexy, having fun... uh oh, I got a little rumble in the bronx. It'll pass. No it won't... I head off to the bathroom, where only massive clouds of toxic gas escape. I sneak back into class and continue. Undulate, shimmy, snake arms... uh oh... I now feel like a prime candidate as an actor for an Immodium-AD commercial. Off to the bathroom again. Well, let just say it wasn't pretty, I broke a sweat, and I thank my lucky stars that the bathroom was breezy, private, with a powerful flushing toilet.

So I'm now bummed that I'll have to reboycott that thai restaurant, and will probably have to boycott red curry all together.

As for NG, I'm still in detective mode on MySpace. Things appear to have cooled off slightly with his cyber love fest, but since I can only see her profile and not his, who really knows. I need to get a life and find a new boy to focus on...

BCOL

P.S. I got a comment on my first post. Can I just say how excited I was/am!! :)

I'm not that strong

I've been putting off posting my first entry, because frankly, I had no idea what to write. Do I start with a long introduction of myself? How vain. No one's even going to read this... But today, I feel compelled to write, so I will and here goes...

I'm retarded. Not in any other way, but when it comes to love and romance and boys and all the etiquette and nuances that comes with it. I had my first boyfriend when I was 30. He was my first (just about) everything. Yeah, I'm behind, way behind! But it's okay, I have come to accept the huge deficit in this part of my life. For the most part anyways...

So, I'm now mid-thirty-ish and I've had 2 boyfriends. Woohoo! Not bad right? I'm trotting along now and doing well playing catch-up. So I think... Is it just the newbie in me, or is dating and relationships really hard? It consumes my brain some days. It's exhausting.

Case and point, my most recent Ex, let's call him NG for Nice Guy. Him and I have been playing the distant-only-by-email-stay-in-touch game ever since our breakup 10 months ago. We parted because he's a confused boy who's avoidant of serious relationship because of the divorce-child-custody-burn. At least that's my understanding of why we're not together.

Anyhoo, very recently, he contacted me to be his friend on MySpace. It's not just for teenagers anymore!! I swear!! I found the request to be odd because he's been distant and avoidant (3 weeks to answer a simple "How was Thanksgiving?" email), so why would he now want a method to be openly connected. I hesitate. The curiosity got the best of me. I'm a stupid hopeful girl. I accepted.

For the past week, I've been part of his MySpace friend circle of 14, along with his ex-wife, family, friends, and who-is-that-random-cute-girl, who's not-friends-with-any-of-his-friends-and-vise-versa? I don't care, right? No, I care...

So I've been the best cyber detective. (It's a talent. Seriously, I'm really great at it. I should be paid for it.) It's been an eye-rolling torturous experience watching the comments, the profile updates, the song updates between the 2 of them. Kill me now! I can only surmise that they knew each other in person while she still lived in our town, but has since moved back east to live with her parents (along with her 2 kids!!) in order to go to school. They're apart. Far apart. Nothing to be anything about, right? Wrong. It's a complete, total, and full-blown cyber-serious-romantic-relationship.

Everyday, a comment here, and song there. For pete sakes, he even created a band page to deliver "mix tapes" to her. I feel cynical, sad, nauseated, whatever, pang-of-heart, along with 10 other no-so-great emotions. Why? WTF?

So I had to delete him from my friend list. The convenience of torturing myself needed to be stopped. So I did. Kind of... I can still see her profile, since it's public, and now, not only am I tortured to see her profile updates. I only see one-side of it. What's on his in reference to that comment? I'm retarded! Just shoot me.

Has he even noticed that he's down a friend? He doesn't care. Did he ever care? I'm retarded. Seriously, I am.

So yeah, welcome me to blogging. :)