What does your drink say about you?
Follow up to Coffee Meet:
I get to said Starbucks 10 minutes before the agreed upon meet up time.
This served 2 purposes:
- I can survey the setting and have a chance to breath and calm down.
- I can order my coffee beforehand, so to avoid the awkward:
- Do I just assume he's going to pay and say nothing?
- Do I actually offer to pay for a $4 cup of caramel macchiato?
- Starting the very first face-to-face conversation while waiting for your name and drink order to be shouted out by the Barista.
*in not manly voice* "Hey BTC, are you almost there?"
"I actually just got done ordering my coffee."
"Oh, you got there ahead of me then. I'm about 50 feet from the door."
"Oh! Ok."
"So, I'll be the bald guy walking in with the red shirt."
*cringes at non-manly voice* "Ok cool."
I look toward the glass entrance door and... The voice matched him.
Don't be so judgemental! He might have a girly voice, kinda short, wearing pants a bit shorter than fashionable, but he could be a really REALLY nice guy! Really... rea..lly... ni...ce....
He see me, walks towards me and I think I gave the warmest welcome and hug. *sigh* I plaster on the friendliest smile and proceeded with awkward small talk.
"So, how was work today?"
"Umm, good! It's the first good day I've had in weeks."
"Oh. Well, I'm glad today, of all days, was good."
"What did you get to drink?"
"An Iced Caramel Macchiato. What are you going to get?"
"Umm, I think I'm going to go for the Strawberry 'n Creme Frappuccino."
Ok now, anyone that knows me in real life, knows that my facial expressions are dead giveaways! I could never be a poker player! In my best effort to not be surprise or burst out into laughter...
"Hmmm... Interesting choice." *raise of the eyebrow*
"Yeah, it's like Nestle's Quik!"
"Right..."
Oh. My. God! Are you freakin' serious?! Mind you, he chose coffee for the place to meet. He could have chosen a bar, or even a smoothie place. You're at a coffee shop, get iced tea if you didn't feel like coffee, but a kid's strawberry milkshake for a Coffee Date?! I was pretty much done at the point, but he still seemed kind of nervous. So I proceeded...
I get my coffee and he gets his fruity milkshake and we grab a table. Considering what a retard I am in dating, I had to steer and keep the conversation going. We did have a lot to talk about, mostly about painting. Between the two of us, somehow I was the expert on painting techniques (with 1 whole painting course under my belt.)
I guess I just felt bad and am too retarded to know when and how to cut it off. It wasn't though he was a bad person to have a conversation with, but it was disappointing and deflating of an "dating" experience. And with dating potential being nil, I did have better things to do. (I'm horrible, huh?)
Anyhoo, there was finally a silent lull in the conversation and I seized the opportunity. I said I had work to do to meet a deadline. My facial expressions probably gave me away on my lie. Oh well. We got up, walked toward the parking lot and I said, "Well, it was nice to meet you." I gave a friendly hug goodbye, and went on my way.
No word since. He either got the hint or finally realized, then drove to his best gal pal's house to reveal, that he's gay. When I first heard him on the phone and my Gaydar needle went into the orange zone, I should have nix it right there, but hey, I tried, right? Right.
So maybe in another few months (ha ha), I'll attempt another coffee date. I'll take away from this experience that there's only one David Beckham that can get away with a girly voice. Lightning ain't gonna strike twice.
12 comments:
Ok now, anyone that knows me in real life, knows that my facial expressions are dead giveaways!
It's the same for me! OMG it's terrible! ;)
Oooh, that's an awkward date. I wouldn't give it up so soon, though.
Menfarmforme.com? What a weird name for a website.
Everytime I hear MenFarmForMe,com, I think of a site for of pervy men who have some barnyard fetish. "That was awesome, baby, but next time, do you think you'd be willing to wear a saddle and make pig noises?"
As for the drink thing, I blame the big-ass coffee corporations. They give you nine-billion different flavors of "normal coffee" that all taste the same to me, so why not get normal coffee with something sweet thrown in. I like caramel macchiato. (But ice??? in coffee??? That's just plain crazy.)
Fruity drink or no, a dude wearing capri pants is gay. Or maybe they were extra-long Jams? Either way... gay.
len: It's both a curse and a blessing, I think...
ph: I think menfarmforme is quite appropriate. It's a smelly dirty yard of animals...
stuck: They weren't capri pants. They were "suppose" to be full length pants that were a bit short. The pants isn't what made him seem gay...
Perhaps you should have asked him what's the best dildo on the market today. If he knows, that's NOT a good sign. :)
OMG how did you resist talking about shopping and boys?
Yeah, sounds very awkward! Maybe we just reach an age where coffee dates are awkward. My last few first dates were all in bars..the alcohol seems to make things a little easier.
I'm in 100% agreement with Teahouse. Alcohol definitely makes dating easier... or at least helps to mask some of the unbearable moments. Next time you have a coffee date, bring a flask.
where the heck have you disappeared to?!
MJ: I'm here! Made up for it with 2 posts. :o)
I stumbled across your blog by accident today and found the coffee date story to be very funny -- and true to life. We men have the same experiences, so we can laugh together. I'll visit again.
i, too, do not possess a poker face.
unfortunately!
if it makes you feel any better, i would have felt EXACTLY the same if i had been on that date.
girly voice?
girly drink?
ugh. it can only go down from there. sorry to hear about the awkward date.
off to check out this man/farming thing....
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