Get with your girlfriend's girlfriends
Over lunch with Artsy Gal, she told me a story about her sick husband. Through the frustration and tears, she told me about his ongoing symptoms, and how he won't seek help. Is there even a cure, she wondered? As a comforting friend, I told her of the statistics I know. This particular ailment affects over 90% of the male population. It affects loved ones more than the ailed one. With her birthday approaching, she's affected more than usual by her husband's disease. She's not alone.
PPS. Nope, not Poor Penis Stiffness. It's Poor Planning Syndrome.
Why can't boys plan? I don't know. I don't get it. I've heard the following excuses:
1. I don't know what she wants. (Fair enough.)
2. She said she didn't want anything. (Yeah right.)
3. What I plan won't be right. (A for effort?)
4. I still have plenty of time. (Ummm, sure.)
5. I forgot. (You idiot!)
Puzzled as to what to do? I'm here to help you out guys. The oh so simple solutions? Make friends with her friends. Even if just one. Just. One. You don't have to be BFF, call her for random chit chat, be extra nice to her, nada. If you want to keep the distance, just get her email address.
Why?
Girls LOVE to plan outings, getaways, dates, vacations, surprises. They love to plan for their friends. Just not for themselves in lieu of their boyfriend, because he's plagued with chronic PPS. The friends will even forget it's a favor to you that they're brainstorming. They'll gush that you even remember that the special whatever-day is coming up.
Gal Pal #1: "Mary's boyfriend emailed me asking for ideas on what to do for her birthday! So sweet!"
Gal Pal #2: "Awwww, that's awesome. I was shopping with her the other day, and she almost bought this handbag. He should get that for her!"
Gal Pal #1: "Oh I'll have to let him know!"
They'll give you ideas: what to buy, what to bring, where to go, what to do. All you had to do? Reach out. Just a smidge. An email and the ball will start rollin'.
Now, guys might think, "Well, it won't be my idea if I have all her friends telling me what to do." I say, "Do you want to be Mr. Right or Mr. Happy?" To tell you honestly, most girls are so sure the guy will do nothing, that anything is surprising. Nothing will definitely be sorely disappointing. Personally, I think it's rather cute and f*ckable that you would reach out to my friends to get ideas. It shows you care and not so pigheaded.
And when that day comes and you have stuff planned? We won't care how the heck it happened. We'll just be giddy and happy. And by God, you'll be happy long time too.
13 comments:
what if you don't have a girlfriend? or, friends, for that matter?
found this blog thru erins. i like it. i am also kinda retarded. but i only do it for survival. whatever that means.
melo: If you don't have a girlfriend, then you have nothing to worry about! I guess the real concern is if your girlfriend doesn't have any friends. In which case, she's probably fine with getting nothing all the time. Hmm, I guess problem solved again! So, either avoid getting a girlfriend, or find one that's a complete loner.
Thanks for liking my lil' ol' blog... I heart Erin.
I find this post sexist and offensive! Your blanket statement that boys can't plan is too broad.
I am a recovering over-planner. I used to have the day-timer with pen (PEN!) marks on every day, filling each day with all possible activities for that evening and then a yellow highlighter stripe through the most desirable and a green highlighter stripe through the second-most desirable. This habit was destroyed by women who could or (worse) WOULD not plan. They didn't want to cramp their spontaneous and free imagine. My plans would be cast aside for some random idea at the last second...
So now, I don't even wear a watch, and on any night when there is an event that I would have planned previously, I go to it by myself without inviting a plan-wrecker. ;)
And I got so emotional that I typed "imagine" instead of "image" in the previous post. lol
phew! i kind of read it as "get with your friend's girlfriend," which is something that happened to me once without planning it. suffice to say, it didn't go very well.
and then I read it as "get with your friends who are girls," which is a sound idea, unless, you have tried this before and failed, so now you have no friends who are girls.
this leaves me in my present dilemma:
"meet girls in bars and buy them drinks," which, as you know, is a hit or miss situation. so, now i am broke, alone, but blogging about it.
as for PPS? guys can plan. we plan all the time. we've planned cities, whole worlds and rockets just so we can get laid. but, of course, that's his-story.
Stuck: Too bad you defected from the 10% and driven to recovery. I would have let you plan for me and highlight me yellow. And by all means, when your special day comes, I'll have my pink highlighter ready.
Melo: Planning inanimate objects hardly compares to planning something fun for a person. If I ever buy my own private island, I'll make sure to find a guy to plan a city, world, and rocket for moi.
Yeah, not sure about getting with her friend to plan things. I have had that go pretty wrong. Maybe I phrased it incorrectly, but my girlfriend at the time got wind of it and wasn't a big fan of me sending out emails to her friends... like I was hitting on them or something. Craaaaazy!
As a guy that has been through this and I think I have learned, no way to know at the moment being single but I have found if I just asked her what she wanted in most cases she told me. Another thing I learned to do was listen to what she likes, make mental note of that and if you can put it on your wishlist at Amazon.com or some similar site. When you look at what want to get for yourself you remember what she would like and you are good to go. Of course I just realized that I actually plan for things like this and that is the root problem with your friend's husband.
by the way got her by way of Virginia Belle's blog.
Hmmm... Apparently I only got the goats of guys on this post. The lady readers must all be lucky and planned for...
SGB: Didn't I say to keep your distance. No need for random chit chat or making her your new BFF? Your Ex could just be a jealous unappreciative b-snatch? ;o)
jonathan: Yup, you're already a planner. Spread the knowledge to your guy pals. I heart VB.
That's funny, because I'm the one who can't plan. My Boy is a super-planner. I kind of like it that way.
wow. that is really good advice. it would totally work, just like that example hypothetical conversation. girls really have conversations like that.
not surprisingly, stuckey disagrees with me. he ALWAYS disagrees with me on the topic of Advice for Men.
maybe this is why he never calls me to hang out on weekends...
aw, i heart you too, BCOL!!!
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